Leaders Listen

by Nancy Matthews, WPN Founder  

When we consider what it takes to be a great leader, often times the first thing that  comes to mind is the ability to be a good speaker.  To be able to convey ideas, share a vision and direct the course of the team towards the desired goals is absolutely a plus for leaders, however it more important for leaders to be great listeners.

A leader who’s focused on speaking rather than listening cannot properly represent the needs of those they purport to lead.

A leader who speaks without listening, may actually have no one listening to him/her.

 “If you think you’re leading and no one is following you, you’re just taking a walk.” (Afghan proverb)

A leader who listens before speaking:

• Fosters a cooperative environment and true team spirit by allowing members of the team to share their ideas, concerns and goals.
• Creates better buy-in from the team towards the desired objectives, having taken the needs of the group into consideration.
• Is able to put their ego aside and recognize the value that the ideas and opinions of the people they are leading bring to the vision and the goal.

Being a great listener is one of the highest forms of respect.  When you give your total attention and time to another person (especially in this multi-media, instant messenger world), they feel valued and appreciated – the foundations for solid relationships.

Tips for Better Listening:

• Look into the eyes of the person you’re speaking with.
• Be excited and eager to learn something new from the other person.
• Resist the urge to look over their shoulder or to the side to see who’s coming in next.
• When your mind starts to drift away from what they’re saying, simply notice it and gently bring your attention back to the other person.
• Turn off your “Already, Always” way of listening.  (i.e. “I already know what Bobby is going to say” or “I’ve already learned how to be a good listener” and “Betsy is always complaining about her husband” or “Bill always says the same thing.)  When we enter a conversation with a pre-conceived notion of what the other person is going to say, we run the risk of missing out on learning something new.
• If you’re trying to win an argument or prove your point, consider (even if just for a moment) that the other person may actually have a point as well!

Whether you’re leading your family, a team at work or leading yourself to build and grow your business, remember to listen before speaking.  You and those you lead will be greatly rewarded!

NOTE:  I will be starting a 6 Week Leadership Mastermind Series in June.  If you would like to apply to be part of this exclusive Leadership Mastermind Group email:  Nancy@NancyMatthews.com.

An Unexpected Gift At Walmart

by Guest Writer: Karen Mayfield (www.WakeUpWomen.com) 

Yesterday we went to Walmart, as we were walking in I noticed this young couple sitting outside the front door, they had their guitar two backpacks, and a sack of bottled water. I didn't pay to much attention but I did notice them. As soon as I walked into Walmart the air inside was so cold I decided to go back outside and sit in a rocking chair until the shopping was over. The rocking chair was about 15 feet from the bench where the young couple was sitting. Me being who I am and most likely will talk to anyone, soon had the young couple engaged in a conversation. My first comment was it was just too cold inside for me to be shopping, their reply was we just got in from the northern part of the United States. I said why were you there and their reply was we have been hitch hiking all over the U.S.,  to which I replied, that would have been something I would have done in my twenties.

Here is the meat of the story:  Now visualize this they have tattoos, body piercings everywhere, she is part asian, he is probably from the Islands somewhere, and they graduated from Stanford University in January. They could not find a job so they decided to just hitchhike across the U.S. and write a book about their journey. I was so captivated by their conversation. Their stories were amazing, their purpose for the entire process was to see how people would treat them or judge them from their appearance.

Their first title for the book was going to be Vagabond-which I quickly told them NO WAY, you are not Vagabonds, your book needs to be titled Thumbs UP A story of Hitch hiking across the Americas.

The entire process made that one of the best trips I have ever taken at Walmart...The moral of the story is: GOD made it so cold inside I had to leave so I could meet the lovely couple outside, I'm sorry for all of those people who walked by them and judged them for how they looked or what they were wearing, they were not criminals they were college graduates...

This I know GOD works in mysterious ways-Only if you think he is a mystery...Once again the encounter confirmed Judgment is MINE Says the LORD.
Thank you GOD for another GOD moment...(KM)

Are You a Good Listener?

by Nancy Matthews

Last year I was the guest speaker at a Regional Conference for Jafra Cosmetics and had the honor of being introduced by Ann Fetters, a veteran Jafra consultant and an amazing woman and leader.  I had given Ann my standard bio to introduce me and was surprised and delighted when she deviated from the standard and shared from her heart:  “One of Nancy’s greatest gifts is her ability to listen, to fully give you her attention, whether you’re with her one on one or in a group with hundreds of people.  When you’re with Nancy, she’s totally with you.”

Wow, I was blown away! I hadn’t realized the far reaching impact that my commitment to being a good listener had on others.  For me, being a good listener stems from my overall philosophy in life that every person we meet is put in our path either for us to learn something or to teach something.  That every person we meet could be “The One” and that I’m committed to being “The One” for them … and sometimes that simply means helping them realize that they are “The One” and reminding them of their own special gifts and unique talents.

Being “The One” and discovering “The One’s” in your life begins with listening to each other, being fully present in your conversations and keeping your focus on the other person.  I know that this can be difficult at times, especially in our fast paced society, where we are all too often rushing through each moment so we can scratch off all the items on our “To Do” lists, hit our goals and objectives and reach the pinnacle of success.  I invite you today to find success in each moment by demonstrating true care and concern for the people you’re with – in your family, among your friends, with your clients, customers and prospects.

A simple shift in perspective to being “The One” who fully listens to others will bring big rewards in every area of your life.

• Be “The One” in your family who truly listens to your spouse, your children and your siblings and discover a deeper relationship based upon mutual respect and appreciation.
• Be “The One” in business who fully listens to what your clients and customers want and be “The One” to serve their needs better than anyone else.
• Be “The One” at the networking event who listens first, who asks questions that allow you to discover the uniqueness and brilliance of the person you’re meeting.
• Be “The One” in the grocery store, the restaurant or the elevator who tunes in and listens to them and actually cares about the answer to “How are you today?”

We’re all familiar with Ghandi’s quote “Be the change you want to see in the world.”  I invite you today to “Be The One” you want to meet in the world and experience everyone you meet as “The One,” because in reality … they are.

To Your Success, Peace & Prosperity … Creating a Space for Your Infinite Possibilities!

Nancy Matthews

Results!

What Result are You Looking For?

By Susan Wiener  

My daily habits include at least 15 minutes of spiritual exercise every morning.  I have developed the habit of creating my “To Be” List before tackling my “To Do” List and have discovered that this practice results in a much more peaceful, powerful, productive, prosperous day!

For several years I had heard about the benefits of “Journaling,” and did not understand what it really meant or how to go about it.  In a moment of desperation, when I was feeling anxious, fearful, “less than”, etc., I decided to get quiet and attempt to shift my energy from “fearful and anxious” to “faith filled and excited” – not an easy job.  With a piece of paper and a pen, I began by making a list of 5 things I was grateful for in my life.  Each day, I added something to my daily process.  I came up with 4 Basic sentences that I required myself to complete before tackling my seemingly overwhelming “To Do” List and found that in doing so, the list was much easier to handle and I accomplished much more in less time with a lot less stress.

Here are the 4 sentences:

1. I'm so happy and grateful for ...
2. I'm excited about ...
3. I'm passionate about and committed to ...
4. I see myself ...

As time went on, I learned to add “I’m feeling” to the sentences and as I did so, they became much more powerful.  Then I discovered that by adding “as a result of” at the beginning or end of the sentences, they took on yet another dimension.   The Results became the reason I chose to be and do things throughout the day and increased my abundance in every area of my life!  WOW!!!

For more tips and tools to begin journalling and/or keep you on course (well 99% of the time), check out Nancy Matthew’s Daily Practices and Journal prompts at: http://wpnevents.com/journal.html

I Promise You’ll be glad you did!

"The Birds"

Guest Post by my sister, Trish Carr   

Last weekend, while sitting in Bok Gardens in Central Florida, peacefully immersed in nature, my sister, Nancy reminded me about the time she was attacked by a bird every time she used her front door. “There was a nest in the tree right at the entrance to my house,” she reminded me, “and every time I’d come or go it would dive bomb me.” Even now as she was telling me with an uncomfortable smile, I could see it scarred her pants off. It’s pretty funny if you think about it. Well, it’s funny to me. After all, she is my little sister and the thought of an itty bitty bird scarring her so much that she puts her arms around her head, hunches her shoulders and runs screaming all the way to the door is as funny as all get out to me. But that’s just me. Anyway, she told me every time she’d come home and start thinking about that bird, her stomach would turn and her chest would pound. She says, “I found out later that the only way a bird will back off is if you stare it down. You’ve gotta look it right in the face and walk by it like you’re queen of the world.”

Hmm.  I have little birds that threaten me too. We all do. We’re humans. We have little birds that make us scared, that keep us from going through the door, that hold us back. Those little birds come in the form of limiting thoughts and limiting beliefs that make us want to put our arms over our heads, hunch down and pray we make it through. When those times come, and they do come, whatever little bird is put in your path, remember that just like the black bird that’s protecting it’s nest, your ego is protecting it’s comfort zone. Stare it down, face it fully. Instead of being afraid of it, instead of letting it make your stomach turn and your chest pound, stand up straight and beat that fear with confidence, with strength and with the empowering belief that it’s just a little bird and YOU are Queen of the World!

P.S. by Nancy Matthews (Trish's little sister)

So what was it about those little birds that scared me so?  As I read Trish's article I realized that the fear that grappled me was deep rooted from childhood.  However, I had never been attacked by birds before, so where did this fear come from?  It was not based in reality but in the fiction created by the folk tale factory workers in my mind based on a fictional movie ... Alfred Hitchcock's chilling horror film "The Birds."  This was my first 'horror' movie and boy was I horrified!  At the tender age of 5 or 6 (our most formative years), I saw this fictional movie and it left quite an impression in my subconscious.  While I have learned to face my fears and limiting beliefs head on, it wasn't until this moment that I realized where this particular one came from.  Does it matter where it came from?  Maybe, maybe not.  What I do know is that we must be aware and mindful of the fictional horror stories from our past, whether based in a memory from an experience or a movie -- and remember that it is not the thing that happened that shapes us, but instead the story we tell ourselves about what happened.

You are now invited to fire any folk tale factory worker in your mind who tells stories about events both past and present that leave you feeling anything less than "Ruler of the World!"  You are the Ruler of your world and get to choose the stories you tell yourself.  It's all made up anyway --- why not choose stories that bring you to the top of the mountain?  (Unless of course you have a fear of heights, but ... we'll leave that for another conversation.)

To Your Success, Peace & Prosperity

...Creating a Space for Your Infinite Possibilities

Nancy Matthews

Speaker~Author~Success Catalyst

P.S.  Join me and hundreds of others in a movement to shift our minds away from lack and fear and into abundance and courage.  Go to http://NancyMatthews.com/science

P.P.S.  And then I just remembered the latest "birds" craze .... Angry Birds!